Syrup Producers see Spike in Late Season Sales

For a Prime Minister trying to impress the citizenry with his grasp of economics, Stephen Harper has stumbled badly. Mr. Harper was in Toronto’s Chinatown on Thursday to purchase Canadian maple syrup at the grocery store of David Chen, the 38-year-old man who has earned fame for nabbing a shoplifter last summer. Subsequently charged and acquitted for unlawfully arresting the culprit, Mr. Chen had his case described by the trial judge as a “cause célèbre.”

The Prime Minister purchased a 375 ml. bottle of medium grade maple syrup from Mr. Chen — not a very good deal at any time, especially in late winter.

Indeed, Loblaws supermarkets in Ontario are offering Grade A light syrup in 500 ml bottles for the same price that Mr. Harper paid for his 375 ml bottle.

A syrup industry spokesperson, speaking on the condition of anonymity, described medium syrup as “Grade B, what you try to sell off when all your grade A light is gone. The Prime Minister paid more and got less. Mr. Harper definitely showed fiscal ineptitude here.”

Perhaps when you have unlimited public money to spend, as the Prime Minister does, the best deal goes out the window. Then again, perhaps he’d never bought maple syrup before. Or perhaps he’d never gone grocery shopping before.

And if the Prime Minister’s gaffe didn’t do enough damage to the Conservative image as good economic managers, his shopping assistants — federal justice minister Rob Nicholson, and minister of state for seniors Julian Fantino — reinforced the blunder by purchasing smaller 250 ml bottles of maple syrup for almost the same price Mr. Harper paid.

Opposition politicians, including NDP Olivia Chow and Liberal Joe Volpe, who were in Mr. Chen’s store at the time, did not purchase any maple syrup.

Still, Canadian syrup producers are happy to see their product flowing again. Another unnamed source commented, “It’s almost spring and we’ll soon have a whole new crop of fresh syrup. Maybe we’ll have a new crop of politicians too.”

As for the relative value of Canadian maple syrup, the final word goes to Galen Weston, Chairman of Loblaw Companies Limited: “Isn’t this worth switching supermarkets for?”

(See follow-up in The National Post, Feb 23: Wasting public money...on maple syrup http://www.nationalpost.com/news/Wasting+public+money+maple+syrup/4329586/story.html)

A Poem for Cheryl (and Jonathan Goldstein)

How do I love thee, let me count the ways.
Loving thee is joyful — like singing a Christmas carol.
Loving thee is easy — like shooting fish in a barrel.
Loving thee is scary — without you I’m in peril.
My love for thee is awesome — and this poem is terril (ible).

(Listen to Jonathan Goldstein's Wiretap on Saturdays at 1:30 pm and Thursdays at 11:30 pm on CBC RadioOne.  http://www.cbc.ca/wiretap/ )